Rainy days and Mondays......(you know the rest)

In a fit of nostalgia, I downloaded a bunch of songs from the 60s and 70s by the brother and sister group The Carpenters.  Her voice is still so beautiful, and I was surprised at how many of these songs are familiar, even though I wasn't really listening to "pop" music at the time they first came out:  "We've Only Just Begun," "Yesterday Once More," and of course, "Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down."  With torrential rain coming down and a severe weather alert in effect, that one seems very appropriate today.

Not that I'm really down, just a bit.....restless.  With so much in limbo, there's a pervading sense of instability.  Since I can't wave my magic wand and arrange everything to my liking, there's nothing to do but take each day and each moment as it comes.  I can't take a job until one is offered to me.  I can't help someone until they're ready to accept it.  I can't participate in a relationship until I'm in one.  So frequently in life there are things outside of our control, and even if an action or a decision on our part might be required, it's not the time....yet.  So we have to wait.

Waiting.  This requires patience.  I think it's easier to be patient when we know what we're waiting for.  But what if we don't know what's going to happen next?  What do I DO with myself right now?  It seems a silly question, a non-issue.  No job responsibilities?  Nothing to do?  Great--I can spend all day knitting, reading, shopping, or laying on the couch watching daytime television.  But I haven't experienced this to be satisfying at all.   What I've found hard to deal with is the insidious, creeping paralysis that seems to suck up my days into nothingness.  The computer sits, mocking me, representing the rabid job hunting I should be doing.  Ugh....easier to wander over to the couch and pick up the current knitted washcloth.  But after a few rows I lose interest and set it aside.  The result is that I feel stuck between doing enjoyable activities, and more pressing tasks.  It's a strange lethargy--I really don't feel motivated to do......anything.  Then I feel like a loser.  (Think Ace Ventura:  Leh who - seh herrr!!)

Maybe it's somewhat of a perspective issue.  Being unemployed is, categorically, bad.  Right?  Well, yeah.  But I've got my Unemployment, so I'm not starving.  And the job hunt is progressing, with a third interview in the works at one company about which I'm very excited.  So what about the rest of the time?  How often will I have this kind of availability?  Why shouldn't I do some things I won't be able to do once I start working again?

To that end, I'm doing something about the appearance of my living room.  The apartment is small, and the room is just too crowded with furniture, for one thing.  Plus there's a rolling island that's designed for a kitchen serving as an entry table, and a round chair that would be a better fit in a dorm room.  Those items don't work, and they need to go.  The biggest change will be replacing the current TV table with an armoire.  I've wanted one for a long time, for one specific reason:  I hate looking at black plastic!  Hiding the electronics behind the doors will improve the overall look of the room, and keep the TV from being the focal point.  But wanting and getting are two different things.  Trotting out to a furniture store and spending hundreds of dollars is not an option for me right now.  So I checked out Craigslist, and found EXACTLY what I wanted, and for $200.  As soon as the owner gets back to me we'll arrange a time to pick up.  Before and after pictures will be posted.  Hopefully things will all go as planned and we get this thing loaded into a truck, over here, and up the stairs without incident!